Feb 17, 2011 12:00AM

A Cyrus Crisis!

Alert! Billy Ray Cyrus is in trouble!

Billy Ray and Miley in happier times.

Stop everyone! There's a Cyrus crisis on our hands. Poor Billy Ray. Or poor Miley? We're not sure, maybe both. In a recent interview with GQ, Billy publicly admitted he's concerned for the safety of his daughter, Miley. Could it be the pressure of Hollywood? A love-crisis? A Linday-esque gaol experience? Nope. It's Satan, and he's attacking their family.

When the Cyrus family first came to Hollywood, they drove past a sign every day that said:
 

ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

ATHEISTS UNITED

As Billy said, it was "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"

If Billy remembered his own words from 1992 ("Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart") he might recall also saying "I just don't think you'd understand". Correct, Billy – you lost us a while ago. I think what's more poignant than Satan's intrusion into Billy's life is the invasion of the media into celebrity lives, and just how difficult it actually must be to cope with this. So, sorry for dissing on you Billy, you do have some of my sympathy. But this got me thinking about the whole notion of celebrity lives – and despite my childhood dream to be famous (for a talent I'm yet to discover) it seems like the downside outweighs the positives.

The clincher, though, is Billy's use of social media to address his reaction to the Miley/Salvia scandal. Tweeting his disappointment speech, "Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now", is just too much. The day my dad knows what a 'tweet' is (aside from a birdcall, of course) will be the day I join the recorder section of the Australian Symphony Orchestra. But wait, it gets better. Billy's previous tweet read, "Oh wow ! I'm so excited !!! I tweeted follow Jesus and He showed up !!! I didn't know He was on twitter!!!"

Thanks for the laughs, Billy.

Airlie Winter-Irving

Latest


LFW Diary: Day #4 & #5 Feat. Ryan Lo, Fashion East & More

Plus backstage images from Ryan Lo’s tropical paradise.


Watch The Bell Knox Documentary Series

The Duke adult film star on being outed and #pornstarproblems.


Ashish Repped Kim & Kanye @ LFW

As well as One Direction, Miley Cyrus and amyl.


Andreja Pejic Did A Reddit AMA

Read the highlights.


Burberry Prorsum SS15 Show Notes @ LFW

Spring time, ring a ding a ding time!


Lena Dunham & Bill Cosby Share Words To Live By

And other things we learnt from her Proust Questionaire.


Grimes Drops Amazing 'Bedtime Mix' On BBC Radio 1

Feat. Aphex Twin, Patsy Cline, Portishead and more.


Frank Ocean Gets New Management

Signs with Calvin Harris and Deadmau5 group.


Snoop Dogg Tweets, Instagrams Homophobic Slur

Then deletes it less than an hour later.


Oyster Playlist: Nicky Night Time

A celebration of cut and paste.


Holly Childs Is Your New Favourite Young Oz Writer [Interview]

We talk to the Melbourne-based writer, editor, internet artist and curator for Oyster #105.


Australian Artist Jonathan Zawada Tattoos Billionaires [Interview]

We talk rainbows, sportswear and Aussies in LA in Oyster #105.


Exclusive: Stream Perfume Genius' 'Too Bright' Album

PLUS read his Imaginary Dating Profile!


News Flash: Everyone Is Single

For the first time ever, singles are the majority.


Beyonce MIGHT Be Pregnant Again

Jay's words guys...Jay's words.


Amy Winehouse's Statue Is Staring At You

Look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes.


Video Emerges Of Kanye West's Wheelchair Gaff

"Oh.... they ARE in a wheelchair?? Right LET'S DO THIS."


Copycat: Shop The Best Looks In Australian Film

You won't look terrible, Muriel.


Local Legends: 'Film Fatales' Is Your New Favourite Zine [Interview]

The new issue features Tavi's college application essay. WAT.


Win — Hansen & Gretel Wardrobe!

Everything in this shoot could be yours.


LFW Diary: Day #1 & #2 Feat. Nasir Mazhar, Sibling & More

Getting up close and personal with SS15 in London town.


'XS' Shot by FEELTHEFUTURE In Oyster #105

From our 20th Anniversary 'Down Under' issue!