Feb 17, 2011 12:00AM

A Cyrus Crisis!

Alert! Billy Ray Cyrus is in trouble!

Billy Ray and Miley in happier times.

Stop everyone! There's a Cyrus crisis on our hands. Poor Billy Ray. Or poor Miley? We're not sure, maybe both. In a recent interview with GQ, Billy publicly admitted he's concerned for the safety of his daughter, Miley. Could it be the pressure of Hollywood? A love-crisis? A Linday-esque gaol experience? Nope. It's Satan, and he's attacking their family.

When the Cyrus family first came to Hollywood, they drove past a sign every day that said:
 

ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

ATHEISTS UNITED

As Billy said, it was "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"

If Billy remembered his own words from 1992 ("Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart") he might recall also saying "I just don't think you'd understand". Correct, Billy – you lost us a while ago. I think what's more poignant than Satan's intrusion into Billy's life is the invasion of the media into celebrity lives, and just how difficult it actually must be to cope with this. So, sorry for dissing on you Billy, you do have some of my sympathy. But this got me thinking about the whole notion of celebrity lives – and despite my childhood dream to be famous (for a talent I'm yet to discover) it seems like the downside outweighs the positives.

The clincher, though, is Billy's use of social media to address his reaction to the Miley/Salvia scandal. Tweeting his disappointment speech, "Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now", is just too much. The day my dad knows what a 'tweet' is (aside from a birdcall, of course) will be the day I join the recorder section of the Australian Symphony Orchestra. But wait, it gets better. Billy's previous tweet read, "Oh wow ! I'm so excited !!! I tweeted follow Jesus and He showed up !!! I didn't know He was on twitter!!!"

Thanks for the laughs, Billy.

Airlie Winter-Irving

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