Feb 17, 2011 12:00AM

A Cyrus Crisis!

Alert! Billy Ray Cyrus is in trouble!

Billy Ray and Miley in happier times.

Stop everyone! There's a Cyrus crisis on our hands. Poor Billy Ray. Or poor Miley? We're not sure, maybe both. In a recent interview with GQ, Billy publicly admitted he's concerned for the safety of his daughter, Miley. Could it be the pressure of Hollywood? A love-crisis? A Linday-esque gaol experience? Nope. It's Satan, and he's attacking their family.

When the Cyrus family first came to Hollywood, they drove past a sign every day that said:
 

ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

ATHEISTS UNITED

As Billy said, it was "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"

If Billy remembered his own words from 1992 ("Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart") he might recall also saying "I just don't think you'd understand". Correct, Billy – you lost us a while ago. I think what's more poignant than Satan's intrusion into Billy's life is the invasion of the media into celebrity lives, and just how difficult it actually must be to cope with this. So, sorry for dissing on you Billy, you do have some of my sympathy. But this got me thinking about the whole notion of celebrity lives – and despite my childhood dream to be famous (for a talent I'm yet to discover) it seems like the downside outweighs the positives.

The clincher, though, is Billy's use of social media to address his reaction to the Miley/Salvia scandal. Tweeting his disappointment speech, "Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now", is just too much. The day my dad knows what a 'tweet' is (aside from a birdcall, of course) will be the day I join the recorder section of the Australian Symphony Orchestra. But wait, it gets better. Billy's previous tweet read, "Oh wow ! I'm so excited !!! I tweeted follow Jesus and He showed up !!! I didn't know He was on twitter!!!"

Thanks for the laughs, Billy.

Airlie Winter-Irving

Latest


Video Emerges Of Kanye West's Wheelchair Gaff

"Oh.... they ARE in a wheelchair?? Right LET'S DO THIS."


Copycat: Shop The Best Looks In Australian Film

You won't look terrible, Muriel.


Local Legends: 'Film Fatales' Is Your New Favourite Zine [Interview]

The new issue features Tavi's college application essay. WAT.


Win — Hansen & Gretel Wardrobe!

Everything in this shoot could be yours.


LFW Diary: Day #1 & #2 Feat. Nasir Mazhar, Sibling & More

Getting up close and personal with SS15 in London town.


'XS' Shot by FEELTHEFUTURE In Oyster #105

From our 20th Anniversary 'Down Under' issue!


Indigenous Icon Bart Willoughby's Got Something To Say [Interview]

Talking to the award-winning musician for Oyster #105.


Kate Moss Stars In Gucci's 'The Jackie' Film

Chased by paps, just like in real life.


Marc Jacobs Gets Dystopian For Spring 15

Beats by Dre headphones, military looks and suburbia.


Betsey Johnson Wins Argument For Marriage Equality @ NYFW

With a queer pastel princess party.


Jimmy Kimmel Successfully Trolls Fashion Week Again

In a game of never have I ever NOT known everything about fashion.


Exclusive: POMS 'Flora' Resort 14 Lookbook

Push the little daisies and make 'em come up.


Moodboards: Celeste Tesoriero Spring 14

Jewellery for broken hearts.


Angus & Julia Stone's Farmhouse Show & Tell [Interview]

Hanging with Rick Rubin's protégés in Oyster #105.


Kanye West Reportedly Hospitalised In Australia

Suffering a migraine in Melbourne.


Vogue US Just Discovered Big Butts

And they cannot lie.


See Jeremy Scott's SS15 Show @ NYFW

She's just being Miley.


Male Birth Control Might Be Here As Soon As 2017

After successful studies on baboons.


Album That Changed My Life: Highasakite

Norweign indie pop angels with much love for Sigur Rós


Wrangler x Holly Ryan Collection

Bohemian dream collab, shot by Ryan Kenny.


We're Livestreaming Burberry's SS15 Show

It's like being front row, but more comfortable.


Emma Balfour Shot By Bowen Arico For Oyster #105

From Oyster's Down Under Issue.


Mid-Week Music: Petite Meller, Perfume Genius, SBTRKT & More

Exclusive remixes and excellent videos!


See Inside The Yeezus Pop Up Shop In Melbourne

South Yarra ain't comin' down.


See The First Looks From Alexander Wang For H&M

Not JUST made up of leggings and crop tops.