Feb 17, 2011 12:00AM

A Cyrus Crisis!

Alert! Billy Ray Cyrus is in trouble!

Billy Ray and Miley in happier times.

Stop everyone! There's a Cyrus crisis on our hands. Poor Billy Ray. Or poor Miley? We're not sure, maybe both. In a recent interview with GQ, Billy publicly admitted he's concerned for the safety of his daughter, Miley. Could it be the pressure of Hollywood? A love-crisis? A Linday-esque gaol experience? Nope. It's Satan, and he's attacking their family.

When the Cyrus family first came to Hollywood, they drove past a sign every day that said:
 

ADOPT-A-HIGHWAY

ATHEISTS UNITED

As Billy said, it was "A physical sign. It could have easily said 'You will now be attacked by Satan.' 'Entering this industry, you are now on the highway to darkness...'"

If Billy remembered his own words from 1992 ("Don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart") he might recall also saying "I just don't think you'd understand". Correct, Billy – you lost us a while ago. I think what's more poignant than Satan's intrusion into Billy's life is the invasion of the media into celebrity lives, and just how difficult it actually must be to cope with this. So, sorry for dissing on you Billy, you do have some of my sympathy. But this got me thinking about the whole notion of celebrity lives – and despite my childhood dream to be famous (for a talent I'm yet to discover) it seems like the downside outweighs the positives.

The clincher, though, is Billy's use of social media to address his reaction to the Miley/Salvia scandal. Tweeting his disappointment speech, "Just saw this stuff for the first time myself. I'm so sad. There is much beyond my control right now", is just too much. The day my dad knows what a 'tweet' is (aside from a birdcall, of course) will be the day I join the recorder section of the Australian Symphony Orchestra. But wait, it gets better. Billy's previous tweet read, "Oh wow ! I'm so excited !!! I tweeted follow Jesus and He showed up !!! I didn't know He was on twitter!!!"

Thanks for the laughs, Billy.

Airlie Winter-Irving

Latest


Balenciaga Resort 15

Sailing, ropes and raincoats.


Proenza Schouler's Debut Swimwear Line

The label releases a cheeky preview.


The New Rick Owens x Adidas Tech Runner Line Is Here

Monochrome tech vibes yield their best collab to date.


Rihanna Turns Down Grimes Song

UK Advertising Standards Authority turns down Rihanna's fragrance ad.


Watch: Tyler, The Creator On Larry King Now

On Jennifer Lawrence, being more than a rapper and girls with freckles.


Lana Del Rey Drops 'Ultraviolence', Dislikes Feminism

"Whenever people bring up feminism, I’m like, GOD."


WAR DANDY: The Rebel Fashion of Yemen

Yemen dreaming on a grey Kiev day.


John Waters Makes Fun Of Fashion

While hosting the CFDA Fashion Awards.


8 Beauty Essentials For The Winter Months

Fix up, look sharp this winter with a guide by OuterGold.


What To See @ The Sydney Film Festival

The Top 5 movies you should get tickets for NOW.


Astrid Anderson x Topman

Co-starring A$AP Ferg x velour.


See Lover's 'White Magick Part 3' Collection

White witches, apply within.


Watch: Da Mango For T By Alexander Wang

SNL's favourite male exotic dancer is back.


Instagram Morphs Into Photo Editing App

From mere filters to Photoshop-like functions.


Thistle Brown x Zara Mirkin x Lili Sumner

Shooting the designer's second collection.


The Film That Changed My Life: Desiree Akhavan

Director of Appropriate Behaviour <3's Muriel's Wedding.


Adult Swim Singles Are Back For 2014

See the schedule of new music.


Top 5: iOS 8 Updates

The (near) future!


Watch: Nirvana's Induction Into Rock And Roll Hall of Fame

Feat. speeches and performances from Joan Jett, Kim Gordon and Lorde.


Listen: Blood Orange's New Palo Alto Track

'April's Bathroom Bummer'


Rihanna Slays At CFDA

As do some other gals. See 'em here.


Watch: BANKS 'Drowning'

Directed by Mike Piscitelli and feat. an infinity of mirrors.


Kanye West Commissions Street Artist To Paint Naked Kim Portrait

The perfect wedding gift for a 'Perfect Bitch'.


Meet The Model: Evelina @ Clyne

Shot by James K Lowe.


Born In 94: Jemma Baines — Model Citizen

Shot by Andre Herrero in Oyster #104.


Watch: Dior Secret Garden III

The third chapter of the 'Secret Garden' campaign, shot at the Château de Versailles.