Apr 28, 2012 1:32PM

Bon Iver Erotic Fiction

"Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, 'Can I be the little spoon now?'"

First Fucking James Franco and now this: a Tumblr dedicated solely to short-form erotic fiction about the woodsy and earnest singer / songwriter Bon Iver. Bon Iver Erotic Stories pairs imagery of Bon Iver standing in meadows / looking at you soulfully / having a beard, with prose like:

This morning we sat on the front porch in a rocking chair, I on his lap, wrapped up in a blanket he’d knitted from wool he spun from the neighbor’s sheep. We watched the sun rise and he said, ‘I wonder if the sun knows how lucky he is to shine on your beautiful face every day’. A single tear marked his cheek.

and

Bon Iver must have known I would wear his workshirts to bed while he was away. He left me gifts in the breast pocket of each - a tiny shell, a dried flower, a pinecone.

and

Bon Iver just woke me up to tell me about his dream. He dreamed our children were running through an olive grove, a blonde boy and twin girls. Then he held me and whispered, 'Let’s make a family'.

This is a different breed of erotic fiction to, for example, the short stories based on hypothetical sexual encounters with James Franco, which include lines like:

His hands instinctively balled themselves into fistfuls of the Mexican blanket and the force of his climax lifted him off of the couch as I struggled to swallow each new mouthful of his torrential cum.

The extent to which the writing in Bon Iver Erotic Stories indulges in fantasy, however, is perhaps even greater than those stories about James Franco.

.

boniverotica.tumblr.com

Emily Royal

Latest


Poppy Delevingne Liveblogs Her Engagement

The Brit It girl will soon be married and wants all of Twitter to know.


Alexa Chung's Book Will Be Like Rookie

Won't just be a 'style bible'.


Rachel Rutt x Nasty Gal

See the October 2012 lookbook and behind-the-scenes video.


Giveaway: Beauty Daily x Billy Bride

Win a necklace by Billy Bride valued at $295!


Oyster Playlist: THEESatisfaction

The duo's top ten funk tracks before they come to Australia for the first time.


Likes: Burberry Studded Gloves

Leave no fingerprints.


Oyster Fashion: Man Repeller x Yimmy Yayo

Plus, her imaginary online dating profile.


Lady Gaga Meets Julian Assange

The pair drink tea at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.


Interview: ASOS 'In Your World'

Australians get first dibs on the new SS13 collection!


Balenciaga Invites You to Interview Kristen Stewart

She'll be answering your questions live!


Beyoncé & Jay-Z Still Crazy in Love

The couple perform together at Barclays Center.


Top 10: Hologram

Shop reflector.


DIY Hair: Wetlook

A little bit grunge, a little bit 80s MTV.


DIY Hair: Fluffy Ponytail

Slick at the front, party at the top.


More Revealed About Brad Pitt's Chanel No. 5 Campaign

You'll be able to watch him seduce a bottle of the perfume.


Oyster Interview: Burberry's Christopher Bailey

"I don't really like when there's too much chaos."


Oyster Fashion: 'Ja(c)k & Jil(l)' Shot By Tommy Ton

Fashion and collage by Stevie Dance.


7-Year-Old Artist Max Treffkorn Draws Spring 2013 Runway Looks

He interprets Burberry, Gareth Pugh, Jeremy Scott and Rochas.


Oyster Playlist: Felix Dickinson

A 10-Point introduction to dance.


Saint Laurent Skinny Lookbook shot by Hedi Slimane

Meet the label's new exuberant essentials offshoot.


Spring 2013 Trend Report with Alex Wall from Bleeding Knees Club

"If I saw a girl wearing this, I would think that either she is here on holiday from Dubai, is very sun-safe, or a burn victim."


Watch: Karl Lagerfeld Explain Chanel's Hula Hoop Bag

"You need space for the beach towel. Then you can put it into the sand and hang things on it."


Anja Rubik x Hedi Slimane x Saint Laurent

Let's forget about Twitter for a moment and enjoy these photos.


Oyster Fashion: 'Earth to Hanne' Starring Hanne Gaby

Sneak a peek at Oyster #101! On stands now.


Ana Diaz Lookbook & Interview

"Who wouldn't have fun wearing this stuff?! It's sort of impossible. In other words, GUARANTEED FUN TIMES."


Oyster Playlist: Kirin J Callinan

An ode to the epic ballads of the 70s and 80s.


Social Snaps: Topshop Topman Sydney Launch

Apparently the budget for the party was $250,000!


Paris Fashion Week Review: Miu Miu

The perfect way to end Fashion Month.


Hedi Slimane & Cathy Horyn's Twitter Beef Continues

Lady Gaga also gets amongst it.


Paris Fashion Week Review & Backstage Gallery: Louis Vuitton

Ruby Jean Wilson, 60s shapes, and escalators.