Apr 28, 2012 1:32PM

Bon Iver Erotic Fiction

"Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, 'Can I be the little spoon now?'"

First Fucking James Franco and now this: a Tumblr dedicated solely to short-form erotic fiction about the woodsy and earnest singer / songwriter Bon Iver. Bon Iver Erotic Stories pairs imagery of Bon Iver standing in meadows / looking at you soulfully / having a beard, with prose like:

This morning we sat on the front porch in a rocking chair, I on his lap, wrapped up in a blanket he’d knitted from wool he spun from the neighbor’s sheep. We watched the sun rise and he said, ‘I wonder if the sun knows how lucky he is to shine on your beautiful face every day’. A single tear marked his cheek.

and

Bon Iver must have known I would wear his workshirts to bed while he was away. He left me gifts in the breast pocket of each - a tiny shell, a dried flower, a pinecone.

and

Bon Iver just woke me up to tell me about his dream. He dreamed our children were running through an olive grove, a blonde boy and twin girls. Then he held me and whispered, 'Let’s make a family'.

This is a different breed of erotic fiction to, for example, the short stories based on hypothetical sexual encounters with James Franco, which include lines like:

His hands instinctively balled themselves into fistfuls of the Mexican blanket and the force of his climax lifted him off of the couch as I struggled to swallow each new mouthful of his torrential cum.

The extent to which the writing in Bon Iver Erotic Stories indulges in fantasy, however, is perhaps even greater than those stories about James Franco.

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boniverotica.tumblr.com

Emily Royal