Aug 28, 2012 6:36PM

Daily Spam: Lindsay Lohan Is A Thief (Again)

Looks a lot like the world's oldest Facebook user.
Lindsay shot by Olivier Zahm.

Lindsay Lohan, she of the ombre face tan and straight-to-DVD movies, is now officially a suspect in the theft of $100,000 worth of watches and glasses. Last Sunday, she and her assistant Gavin Doyle partied all night long at the mansion of one Sam Magid (we can almost feel the cocaine comedown from here). But apparently miscellaneous white powder wasn't all they were racking — Sam filed a report with the police stating that some of his lavish possessions were missing, and that Lindsay and Gavin were behind it. 

Despite the fact that he has since decanted his story, (for reasons unknown), police are not letting the investigation go. According to the last bastion of truth and journalistic integrity, TMZ, officials believe they have independent witnesses who can attest that Li-Lo and her assistant Gav-Do are indeed guilty.

Let it be noted that Lindsay is already on probation for jewelry theft (she allegedly stole a necklace from a boutique in Venice, LA). All this despite the fact that she herself was targeted in the Bling Ring robberies, the story of which is being adapted for the silver screen by Sofia Coppola, set for a 2013 release.

When the Magid case was first reported, police accidentally questioned the world's oldest Facebook user, under the erroneous impression that she was in fact Ms. Lohan*. Florence Detlor, age 101, appeared confused and disoriented when she heard knocks on her door, claiming, "[I'm just] looking for a good book to read."

*This is completely untrue and we are just playing on the universal human truth that all jokes at Lindsay Lohan's expense are good jokes.

Ingrid Kesa

Latest


Kim Kardashian's Game Will Make $200 Million This Year

Because it is actually addictive.


The 'Deal With It' Sunglasses Are Real

Throw shade at the world.


WIN: Double Passes To Sky Ferrreira

In Sydney & Melbourne!


Enter FBi Radio's Northern Lights Competition

Come one aspiring local artist, come all.


Top 10: NSFW Oyster Images

Because it's International Nude Day!


Watch: Cara Delevingne Lip-Syncs To LL Cool J

And J-Lo. You know the one.


Lottie Moss' CK Campaign

Nostalgia alert.


Watch: Weird Al Parodies Pharrell's 'Happy'

"Live-tweeting a funeral / Take selfies with the deceased."


Watch: Kanye West On How To Avoid People

In airports, as in life.


Oyster Fashion: 'Bali Kiss' Shot By Byron Spencer

The babes of Instagram in Bali.


Top 15: Haute Couture Week

The best of Autumn 14 from Armani Prive, Schiaparelli, Chanel and more.


Watch: Christopher Owens 'Nothing More Than Everything To Me'

The ex-Girls frontman gets a country twang.


Proenza Schouler AW14 Campaign

Feat. Julia Bergshoeff shot by David Sims.


Jared Leto Hugging Things

The affectionate new meme.


RIP: Tommy Ramone

The last surviving Ramones member passes away aged 65.


Oyster Playlist: Jimblah x NAIDOC Week

Always was, always will be.


Listen: SZA x Jill Scott 'Divinity'

The second track in one week!


Vapourisers Are Mainstream Now

Thanks, New York Times!


Azealia Banks Leaves Her Record Label

Gets to be a 'cool indie chick' now.


Gallery: Skye Parrott's Favourite Photos

Plus info on her NYC exhibition 'Kind of Water'.


Labels to Watch @ Berlin Fashion Week

Plus a special playlist for the occasion!


Tyra Banks Predicts The Future Of Beauty

Everyone will look like Beyonce (and use vaseline).


Maison Martin Margiela Artisanal AW14

Money, masks and scraps of vintage fabric.


Exclusive Stream: Sebastien Tellier 'L'Aventura'

A new album from our favourite j'adorable French man.


Vagina Cam: The Sex Toy That Videos You

Ready for your close up?