Aug 28, 2012 6:36PM

Daily Spam: Lindsay Lohan Is A Thief (Again)

Looks a lot like the world's oldest Facebook user.
Lindsay shot by Olivier Zahm.

Lindsay Lohan, she of the ombre face tan and straight-to-DVD movies, is now officially a suspect in the theft of $100,000 worth of watches and glasses. Last Sunday, she and her assistant Gavin Doyle partied all night long at the mansion of one Sam Magid (we can almost feel the cocaine comedown from here). But apparently miscellaneous white powder wasn't all they were racking — Sam filed a report with the police stating that some of his lavish possessions were missing, and that Lindsay and Gavin were behind it. 

Despite the fact that he has since decanted his story, (for reasons unknown), police are not letting the investigation go. According to the last bastion of truth and journalistic integrity, TMZ, officials believe they have independent witnesses who can attest that Li-Lo and her assistant Gav-Do are indeed guilty.

Let it be noted that Lindsay is already on probation for jewelry theft (she allegedly stole a necklace from a boutique in Venice, LA). All this despite the fact that she herself was targeted in the Bling Ring robberies, the story of which is being adapted for the silver screen by Sofia Coppola, set for a 2013 release.

When the Magid case was first reported, police accidentally questioned the world's oldest Facebook user, under the erroneous impression that she was in fact Ms. Lohan*. Florence Detlor, age 101, appeared confused and disoriented when she heard knocks on her door, claiming, "[I'm just] looking for a good book to read."

*This is completely untrue and we are just playing on the universal human truth that all jokes at Lindsay Lohan's expense are good jokes.

Ingrid Kesa

Latest


Video Emerges Of Kanye West's Wheelchair Gaff

"Oh.... they ARE in a wheelchair?? Right LET'S DO THIS."


Copycat: Shop The Best Looks In Australian Film

You won't look terrible, Muriel.


Local Legends: 'Film Fatales' Is Your New Favourite Zine [Interview]

The new issue features Tavi's college application essay. WAT.


Win — Hansen & Gretel Wardrobe!

Everything in this shoot could be yours.


LFW Diary: Day #1 & #2 Feat. Nasir Mazhar, Sibling & More

Getting up close and personal with SS15 in London town.


'XS' Shot by FEELTHEFUTURE In Oyster #105

From our 20th Anniversary 'Down Under' issue!


Indigenous Icon Bart Willoughby's Got Something To Say [Interview]

Talking to the award-winning musician for Oyster #105.


Kate Moss Stars In Gucci's 'The Jackie' Film

Chased by paps, just like in real life.


Marc Jacobs Gets Dystopian For Spring 15

Beats by Dre headphones, military looks and suburbia.


Betsey Johnson Wins Argument For Marriage Equality @ NYFW

With a queer pastel princess party.


Jimmy Kimmel Successfully Trolls Fashion Week Again

In a game of never have I ever NOT known everything about fashion.


Exclusive: POMS 'Flora' Resort 14 Lookbook

Push the little daisies and make 'em come up.


Moodboards: Celeste Tesoriero Spring 14

Jewellery for broken hearts.


Angus & Julia Stone's Farmhouse Show & Tell [Interview]

Hanging with Rick Rubin's protégés in Oyster #105.


Kanye West Reportedly Hospitalised In Australia

Suffering a migraine in Melbourne.


Vogue US Just Discovered Big Butts

And they cannot lie.


See Jeremy Scott's SS15 Show @ NYFW

She's just being Miley.


Male Birth Control Might Be Here As Soon As 2017

After successful studies on baboons.


Album That Changed My Life: Highasakite

Norweign indie pop angels with much love for Sigur Rós


Wrangler x Holly Ryan Collection

Bohemian dream collab, shot by Ryan Kenny.


We're Livestreaming Burberry's SS15 Show

It's like being front row, but more comfortable.


Emma Balfour Shot By Bowen Arico For Oyster #105

From Oyster's Down Under Issue.


Mid-Week Music: Petite Meller, Perfume Genius, SBTRKT & More

Exclusive remixes and excellent videos!


See Inside The Yeezus Pop Up Shop In Melbourne

South Yarra ain't comin' down.


See The First Looks From Alexander Wang For H&M

Not JUST made up of leggings and crop tops.