Kanye's Debut Fashion Show Prediction
Taylor Swift gets her revenge, Kanye smokes a cigar backstage, everything is gold, Lady Gaga walks, peacocks appear.
It's kind of hard not to like Kanye West. Sure, he's made some dickish moves in the past (throwing a tantrum at the American Music Awards in 2004; trying to take Justice and Simian's MTV award in 2006; that Taylor Swift incident; only following models on Twitter) but the man makes good music and damn, does he have some steeze. After his urban street wear line Pastelle proved itself to be an epic fail of a label launch back in 2008, Kanye decided to take the whole fashion thing a lot more seriously to prove that he wasn't just another rapper-come-designer (Jay Z, P. Diddy, Pharrell, DMX, Lil Wayne...) He shed the Air Max's in favour of footwear he designed for Louis Vuitton, did an internship at Fendi, even shaving the logo into his head, and rapped about Phoebe Philo in 'Dark Fantasy'.
Kanye's womenswear label is set to debut at Paris Fashion Week tonight so here are our predictions for the show.
1. Taylor Swift will get her revenge, crash the show and say, "I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish but Marc Jacobs is one of the best fashion designers of all time."
2. The soundtrack will be Kanye's own songs only.
3. He will be backstage smoking a pre-show cigar in a velvet Louis XV chair while everyone else runs around madly.
4. Friends including the Olsen twins, Jay Z and Beyonce, Anna Wintour, and Karl Lagerfeld will be seated front row.
5. Remembering that Kanye eats caviar and drinks Moet for breakfast (or so we imagine), the collection will be super luxe and super expensive.
6. Said guests will be served said caviar and Moet.
7. Gold will be key, given his penchant for Tweeting pictures of gold goblets, gold Rolex watches, gold crowns, gold album covers (see below), and gold palace interiors.
8. Rumour has it that the talent behind Givenchy's prints is also on board to do Kanye's. So it will be bold prints, and given the season, they will most probably be floral.
9. The collection will be inspired by his favourite designers - McQueen, Versace, Alaia and Balmain - as well as Christine Centenera's style (who has been consulting on the collection) so there will be clean, minimal pieces and man-style trousers mixed with statement jackets and wedge boots.
10. Louise Goldin's part in the show will be basically forgotten (yeah, she co-designed it).
11. The press release will contain the expressions "super fresh ass", "dope", and "tight as shit, yo."
12. He will be sitting in the front row Tweeting about his own show.
13. He will be sitting in the front row wearing sunglasses inside.
14. Despite the presentation being small (only 150 guests), the lighting and production will be EPIC.
15. Nicki Minaj and Lady Gaga will walk in the show.
16. Kanye will simply do a humble head nod upon the show's close.
20. Kanye will rip off his shirt, glitter and champagne will pour down from the ceiling and fireworks will explode upon the show's close. Majestic peacocks and honeys dancing in bikinis will also be incorporated into this scenario.
Ingrid Kesa
