Dec 22, 2010 12:00AM

moore's code: black versus white

Alex went to the U2 concert: "It was an extremely adequate affair."

Last week I attended the U2 concert at Acer Arena. It was an extremely adequate affair. I particularly liked that bit where Bono talked about stuff and then he sang and then he walked around and then he got all up in the camera and moved backwards and forwards like he does in U2 video clips and then sang that song 'Elevation'. I also enjoyed Adam Clayton's sparkly shirt and pants combo. I like the thought that someone who is filthy rich doesn't mind looking like a complete dickhead for a laugh.

BONO: FACEPALM!

In support of the U2 juggernaut was a little fella called Jason Zee or something like that. I didn't like his music because it was too loud and I couldn't hear the lyrics (I really like that song 'Beautiful Day' by U2 because they say 'Beautiful Day' and it makes me feel good) and there was some sort of compact disc scratching that sounded strange. Also, on some songs another guy came out and did the rapping which I found very confusing because I like bands that only have one singer (like U2 and the Eagles and Jack Johnson). Rap music is also crap because it is all beats with no instruments. That's why I like U2 and Kylie Minogue. They play instruments. As well as this, Jason threw hats into the crowd at the end of his set, which I found strange because it was dark by the time he had finished.

But on a more serious note, the U2 concert really rammed home how much cooler black people are than white people. Although their early stuff was slightly more politically charged and edgy, these days the songwriting process appears to be taking their guitar sounds from the eighties, adding their drum sounds from the nineties and writing a chorus that has a word in it that people will easily remember. 'Elevation', 'Beautiful Day' and 'Vertigo' all come to mind pretty rapidly. I'd like to suggest some other words: 'Cat', 'Andrew' and 'Bulldozer'. Give me a million dollars. Yes, the 360

Oystermag

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