#neverforget Web Edition: Your Friends From The 00s Internet
Jeeves… Jeeves? Where r u?
There was a time when most online spaces were inhabited by a friendly friend whose job was to welcome you to the brave new worlds of MSN Messenger, The Sims, Microsoft Word etc. Flash forward to now and we're feeling pretty OK online while many of our computer-bound companions have disappeared into the void.
Today we'd like the take to time to commemorate the pre-Siri pals that made our induction to the internet such a beautiful time. This goes out to our first ever friend on Myspace to that butler who knew all the answers. Thnks fr th mmrs.
Harmless, smiling, white t-shirt wearing, whiteboard using Tom was a good friend to us all.
These days if you google "Myspace Tom" the results will feature photos of Tom Hardy putting his hand down his pants, which is an absolute travesty for anyone who called actual Myspace Tom a mate. More devastating yet is what happens when you search Tom on the new version of Myspace.
Don't worry Tom, we'll always remember that you gave us a platform to share our deepest thoughts, fave songs, learn how to code and chat to our fave ~underground~ bands.
At least he's making the most of new social media platforms (kind of).
But really, he has 150k followers on his Instagram that's full of stuff like this:
Jeeves was the pre-Wikipedia source of all our school project research — a friendly butler/businessman who could solve all of our problems.
Ask Jeeves is just called "Ask" now with Jeeves and his friendly question of the day nowhere to be seen. Attempts to search for Jeeves are also fruitless.
Clippy was the friend that we neither needed nor liked but whose absence nevertheless left a hole in our hearts. You may not have always gotten it right but thanks for trying Clippy.
The Goth family
Permanent residents of the Sims universe, the Goth family were always there to greet us when we installed a new game. Mortimer, Bella and Cassandra Goth and co. set the bar very high with their manor house and enviable graveyard. A set-up that inspired us to delete pool ladders and start kitchen fires so that we may kill enough Sims to build a beautiful graveyard of our own.
SmarterChild was the one person we could always rely on to reply to us immediately on MSN Messenger with way more sass and smarts than Siri's ever displayed. When we hear this sound with think of you <3
~*$~ ( So țȟ@nKs )) ~*!^~
Arguably the pioneer of Internet Speak (see: downfall of gud english), we can thank/curse Jerry Jackson and his mates for teaching us to speak lyk dis thx 2 his LMAO cart22ns. While most of the Internet seems to have forgotten the genius that was Jerry Jackson, his website still lives on. As do a couple of his invaluable life lessons:
Sometimes it's okay to stray from the original (note the msn sound at 3:30):
'Carbon Morocside' in cigarettes is RLY BAD:
Vegetarians live in funny looking houses that have carpets on the walls: