Apr 05, 2012 12:00AM

Oyster's Advice Column

Slutever's Karley Sciortino gives good guidance. Email advice@oystermag.com now!
Karley Sciortino

Were you the kind of tween who always wanted to write to Dolly Doctor, but didn't have the actual, or metaphorical, balls? Have you since grown into an equally-awkward adult person, whose burning sex/love questions have still not been answered by a hopefully-objective stranger? Then, my friend, you need an advice columnist. Liz Lemon tried it once.

So did Dolly Parton.

Distinct from the mystic hotline lady or the psychiatrist, the agony aunt has traditionally filled the gap between qualified professional and all-out scamming nut-bag. Famous examples include Dolly Parton's character in Straight Talk and Liz Lemon, when she gets all “That's a deal-breaker, ladieees!" Then there's the Dolly Doctor herself, who is like the great and powerful Oz — nobody has ever seen her. She may or may not be like Krang from Ninja Turtles.

Autonomous brains in jars aside, who can the ladies turn to when they need a sassy sexpert? Luckily, Oyster's next issue is the Women's Issue, featuring all-female writers, contributors, photographers and features. We've enlisted the help of the world's best advice-giving member of the fairer sex, Slutever, and given her a column of her very own: 'Women's Issues'! If you don't already know, Karley Sciortino is her name and giving rad advice is her game (check out her blog, her Twitter, and her Facebook). And now it's YOUR turn!

Go on then, submit your most anxiety-inducing deep dark questions to advice@oystermag.com by next Tuesday the 10th of April.

Karley will hit you with a fresh dose of reality, in the best and funniest possible way. Thanks Karley!

Email advice@oystermag.com with your questions!