Dec 15, 2010 12:00AM

Playlist: Shameless Christmas

The whitest Christmas ever.

Shameless is back! On Saturday 18 December Iguana Bar in Sydney will turn into a winter wonderland complete with snow machine, elves, carolers and antagonistic relatives ready to bring up every single mistake you've ever made. The Christmas drink special will be the Mistletini, $5 all night long. Christmas begins at 9pm and entry is $10.

Your ears will be left ringing with the sound of sleigh bells as DJs Sirens, National Treasure, Perfect Snatch, Sex Azza Weapon, Dylabolical, Love Zero and more play all your favourite Christmas hits, plus the usual mix of soft rock, adult contemporary and blue-eyed soul -? the whitest Christmas in Sydney's history. Iguana Bar is at 13-15 Kellett Street, Kings Cross, Sydney.

10) Hall & Oates - 'Jingle Bells Rock'

Featuring acting more wooden than a nutcracker doll, at 00:14 Hall & Oates show us exactly how to react when opening Grandma's gift of satin Looney Tunes boxer shorts.

9) Boney M - 'Mary's Boy'

Let's remember Boney M as the band who brought us this timeless holiday treat, rather than the born again Christian musical act they morphed into before performing at such venues as the Rooty Hill RSL. Which, by the way, has meat trays on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays from 5pm! Merry Christmas!

8) Band Aid - 'Do They Know It's Christmas?'

Journalist Robin Eggar reminisces about the recording day: "Once Status Quo produced their bag of cocaine and the booze started to flow, I brought six bottles of wine from my flat, which disappeared in a minute - it became a party.".

7) Paul McCartney - 'Wonderful Christmastime'

Paul McCartney is apparently today embarrassed by this Christmas classic, presumably for the same reasons that Hilary Duff and the Barenaked Ladies subsequently covered it.

6) Boy George - 'White Christmas'

Might be a little more convincing if the lyric "White Christmas" were replaced by "abducting and torturing male prostitutes". But I guess nobody ever really gets what they want for Christmas.

5) John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band - 'Happy Christmas (War is Over)'

The best type of Christmas song is one whose subversive message is overlooked by the conservative suburbanites playing it. It's the Christmas equivalent of bands back-masking satanic messages into their tracks.

4) The Pointer Sisters - 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town'

The Pointer Sisters deliver a spirited, multi-octave gift that did nothing to dispel those sex-change rumours surrounding Ruth.

3) Eurythmics - 'Walking in a Winter Wonderland'

Also parodied by Bob Rivers as 'Walking Round in Women's Underwear'.

2) Mariah Carey - 'All I Want for Christmas Is You'

Comment below with what you think Mimi really wants for Christmas this year. Female alopecia for J.Lo? To give birth to a Hello Kitty baby? 1996?

<

1) Wham - 'Last Christmas'

Featuring hair frostier than a windowsill on Christmas 'morn, this is the ultimate holiday song. Christmas simply does not get whiter than this.

Nick Sweeney

www.club-shameless.com

Powered by Skullcandy.

Latest


Obama Covers Iggy Azalea's 'Fancy'

"I know I'm a little late."


Meet The Model: Natarsha @ IMG

Shot by Gavriel Maynard.


Interview: UK Designer Bobby Abley

On misinterpretation, inspiration and Disney (duh).


Oyster Playlist: Tkay Maidza's Fave Female Rappers

Plus, watch her new video for 'U-huh'


The Rap Sheet: August 2014 Edition

Some of the best arts events and parties around Sydney this month.


The Pope Tweets About Being Too Connected

Because "if you hoard material possessions, they will rob you of your soul."


Drake Defends His Double Denim Choices

And represents Rihanna as the devil in concert.


Kim Kardashian Talks Kanye's Wedding Speech And Changes Diapers

Plus, reveals Yeezy ordered takeaway food in jail.


Watch Azealia Banks' New Video 'Heavy Metal And Reflective'

Her first post-Universal release feat. Mad Max realness.


Gallery & Interview: Ren Hang's NSFW Photography

The notorious Chinese artist, uncensored.


4Chan Art Wank Sells For $90K On eBay

"Literally anything could be art. This post is art."


Studio Ghibli Isn't Quite Dead Yet

It's just taking a "brief pause."


Kathleen Hanna Is Converting Miley Cyrus To Riot Grrl

After Miley Instagrams a couple of iconic pictures and Kathleen hits her up.


Oyster Fashion: 'Brick' Shot By Hunter Ryan

"A concept for bring life back to the heart of a city."


Collection Survey: Celeste Tesoriero SS14/15

Gelato tones and an eco heart.


Dev Hynes & Samantha Urbani: We Were Assaulted At Lollapalooza

Reportedly jumped by security staff after giving a speech about racism and police brutality.


Deconstructing The Lyrics To Beyonce x Nicki Minaj's 'Flawless' Remix

"If you ain't on the team, you plain' for team D."


New Label Violetine's 'V1' Collection

The femme, the pretty and the juicy.


Rachel Rutt x CAMP Fall 2014

Shot by Renee Carey on the outskirts of Sydney.


There Might Be A Romy And Michele Reunion

If Disney stop being jerks about it…


Marina Abramovic Wants To Hire YOU

It helps if you're in NYC and willing to work for free.


Girls In China Are Taking Armpit Hair Selfies On Social Media

Plus enter our competition; win ultimate respect.


Friday Feed: Cybersex Edition

In honour of the best archival video ever.


Gallery: Faces of Splendour

Shot by Isabella Moore at Splendour in the Grass.


Spike Jonze Joins Cast of Girls

Guest starring in the fourth season with Natasha Lyonne, Gillian Javobs and more.


See SUKU's 'Lucidity' Collection

Lucid dreaming err'day.


Watch Odd Future's 'Beyond Scared Straight' Parody

"Why you got so many NECKLESH??"