Mar 16, 2011 12:00AM

The Strokes: Angles

According to the Internet, it sounds like the "arckeys montic".

Goodness Gracious, The Strokes have a new album! Leaked online last week, Angles is now available for streaming from The Strokes website, with a song-by-song breakdown by Julian Casablancas published on NME this morning. Pictured above is the fake album cover Casablancas tweeted in January.

To celebrate this exciting occasion, others in my position could have formulated an intelligent review, researched obscure Casablancas quotes, or even just discussed the album with 'friends'. I chose to read all 3852 comments on the 'Under Cover of Darkness' video clip on YouTube to suss out how the Internet is feeling about The Strokes.

As Angles is the first release from the Strokes since 2006 and is being heralded as a return to the form of 2001's Is This It, the Internet is quivering with excitement and anticipation:
 

"This song is chocolate to the airwaves."

"this felt like a unicorn jumped into my eyes and ears"

"this tune is in my blood"

"but seriously guys who hacked gods [sic] ipod"

"i've actually watched this video at least once every day ever since i knew it came out. it's like my new heroine [sic]."

"I really really hope my neighbors like this song."

But wait, there's also the inevitable controversy:
 

"At first I didn't really like this song, but now I can't stop listening to it."

"don't go which way what are you talking about i'm just sitting at my computer [sic]. why would you need to wait for anybody are they going to be late coming home and why would anybody need to wait for you [sic]. and early in the song you said you were joining the army why would you do that you're already a singer sorry but it's too late and also does this song have a point or are they just words [sic]. love the song though"

"I guess people feel special when they think they are listening to "unique" music that is "underground" so that when they (bands) achive [sic] comerical [sic] sucsess [sic] and are exposed to a wider audience [sic] they no longer feel special, especially the majority of hipsters that listen to The Strokes"

"Oh God!! This is like rave music... This sucks!!" [This comment was hidden as it had received too many negative votes]

And a new album by a massive band will always draw comparisons to its peers:
 

"it sounds like... um... arckeys montic [sic]"

"Julian Casablancas looks a bit like Jay Z...well, they are both New Yorkers... must be the shades, yep."

"Sounds like My Chemical Romance." [This comment had also received too many negative votes]

Apparently, according to the Internet, Julian Casablancas is a bit of a babe - WHO KNEW?
 

"fuck yeah julian casablancas"

"is julian got younger [sic]"

"What a fuckin' stud. he skips a step every stride up them stairs.

God wants him to use every step in a staircase, but he just won't listen."

"Julian Casablancas is my spirit animal."

The comment system was a great way to find out the tour schedule of the Strokes:
 

"the stroke julian cant whate fore cotchella [OMG sic a thousand times over]"

But maybe not for everyone:
 

"fucking when are their fucking full fucking tour dates fucking coming out?"

It's also lucky I was trawling through the comments or we all would have missed this:
 

"DONT READ THIS CAUSE IT ACTULLY WORKS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. TOMARROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. HOWEVER IF YOU DO NOT POST THIS COMMENT TO AT LEAST 3 VIDEOS YOU WILL DIE WITHIN THE NEXT 2 DAYS. NOW UV STARTED READING THIS SO DUNT STOP. THIS IS SO SCARY PUT THIS ON AT LEAST 5 VIDEOS IN THE NEXT 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR LOVERS NAME WILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS"

Have to go scrub my eyes now - YouTube comments hurt so bad. LMAO!1!!1!!!

Words: Madeleine Atkins

new.thestrokes.com

News & Features

The Journal: Shenay Carey x Charlie Brophy x New Balance

Featuring New Balance sneakers, Prada, Romance Was Born, PAM and more.


Watch: The xx & Jessie Ware Cover 'Lady' by Modjo & 'Music Sounds Better With You' by Stardust

A video has surfaced online from their set in Berlin earlier this week.


Watch: New Balance x Alicia Twohill (Babes on Grill)

Part two of New Balance's 'women on the move' campaign.


Exclusive: Urban Outfitters x Stolen Girlfriends Club Shot & Styled by Zara Mirkin

An editorial to go with the capsule collection launching this week.


Oyster Playlist: Levins' Favourite RiFF RAFF Videos

Get your RiFF RAFF education before seeing him live at the Sydney Opera House next Friday night.


Beach Fossils Announce Debut Australian Tour

The Brooklyn band will play shows this September.


Oyster Words: Elke Kramer on Motherhood

From Oyster #102: The Peace Issue — on sale now!


Oyster Fashion: 'Hip Hop Astrid' Shot by Gadir Rajab & Styled by Mark Vassallo

Home boyz and home girlz, Givenchy, Nike, Christian Dior and more.


Exclusive: Krystal Glynn x Rene Vaile x Zara Mirken x Meadowlark

The SS13/14 lookbook from the NZ jewellery label.


Brooke Candy, LE1F & House of Ladosha Announce Australian Tour

Take note — the tour announcement comes with the warning "no basic bitches at this function."


Watch: Kanye Perform 'Black Skinhead' & 'New Slaves' on Saturday Night Live

Plus more details revealed about his upcoming Yeezus album.


Topshop x Kate Bosworth

They collaborate on a festival fashion capsule collection.


Interview: Harmony Korine

"I had a dream at one point of living my life as a criminal and then I kind of just did that with the movies."


Watch: 'Haunted Love' by Future Unlimited (Directed by Shia LaBeouf)

Inspired by working with Lars von Trier on 'Nymphomaniac'.


Oyster Playlist: Classixx

A smooth jazz playlist to celebrate the release of their debut album — out now!


Levins Mix to Celebrate The Dip's 2nd Birthday Tonight at Goodgod!

Prepare yourself for the hot dog eating competition now.


Christy Turlington Returns as Face of Calvin Klein Underwear

Looks the same as she did in the 90s.


Tyler, The Creator Back on Instagram

Keep calm and follow @feliciathegoat.


Top 5: Chanel Cruise 2013/14 Moments

From Dakota Fanning in the front row to a male model accessorising with a cricket bat on the runway.


Hanne Gaby Wears Romance Was Born, Ellery & Dion Lee in JASU's Latest Lookbook

Shot in Sydney last month when she was here for Fashion Week.


Listen: 'Looks Good With Trouble' by Solange ft. Kendrick Lamar

He adds a new verse to the already boss tune.