May 15, 2010 12:00AM

Two Seasons Too Late

2010 made Australian Fashion Week the sixth I've participated in since my first in 2004. I'm not counting my unofficial first- 2002- where mid-high school year I ventured out of the comfort of my parents' Perth home and across our great land just to be told I was too fat and, confusingly, too plain and too weird.

Thanks for the self-esteem boost guys, I also nearly failed school that year. My heart goes out to the little dolls I've seen at show castings ever since. The blisters from your baby-hooker shoes will heal but the ego-wounds won't. I'll give you the name of my therapist, say Tiah sent you. Oh... and I mean foot therapist, she does a great pedi. Don't even bother with the other kind.

Just like that social-climbing bitch at school - yeah, you know the one: insecure and nerdy but desperate to hang out with 'the cool kids' - Australia's fashion industry equivalents aren't above cutting to the bone with the cheapest possible blow in order to assert themselves. As what one would wonder? A part of the international scene? Good luck. Just because you can bitch out on a chick for having tits and an arse as good as Karl Lagerfeld can doesn't mean you can make clothes like him. And even it would seem The Kaiser's coming around to a bit of woman's-woman nowadays, booking the likes of Lara Stone and Claudia Schiffer for Chanel. Miuccia too, sending out Victoria's Secret models for Prada and Marc Jacobs pulling a similar act with Elle MacPherson at Louis Vuitton.

Surprise! And not just at the international collections' casting choices, but at the fact our country is still maintaining its tradition of not 'getting it' until two seasons too late. You'd think in 15 years we would've caught up. Or at least rebelled and begun a rebel faction in the cafeteria. But no no, as a collective we're still chasing along after the popular kids, repeating what they do and what they say (but with delay) in a desperate bid to fit in most of the time. I look forward to 2012 when this year finally sets in and we see at least a C-cup on the runway, or anyone over 21.

Written by Tiah Eckhardt. 

Image courtesy of Sonny Vandevelde

Latest


Saint Laurent x Daft Punk

They're the latest stars in Hedi Slimane's Music Project campaign.


MBFWA 2013 Photo Diary: Rachel Rutt (Part Two)

Featuring cameos from Ollie Henderson and Ruby Jean Wilson, and photographers Jack Salkild and James Nelson.


Exclusive: Mr Porter x The Stenmark Twins

Jordan and Zac are the cover model's for Mr Porter's upcoming online magazine issue.


MBFWA 2013 Street Style: Fuji Fun Edition

Platforms adorned with tiny toys, a fluffy pink Prada bag, Nike sneakers and more.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Emma Mulholland

Go behind-the-scenes at one of the most hyped shows of this season.


MBFWA 2013 Model One-On-One: Ella Verberne @ IMG

We bro down with the model over a bowl of pasta.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Shakuhachi

Great glasses, bright whites and Jemma Baines eating a cucumber.


Watch: Marc Jacobs' Acting Debut in 'Disconnect'

The fashion designer plays the leader of an internet porn ring.


MBFWA 2013 Review: Emma Mulholland

Inspired by 80s surf and snow culture.


Interview: The Selby x Svbscription

The man behind the blog has handpicked a selection of luxury items which you can get delivered straight to your door.


MBFWA 2013 Photo Diary: Maddison Brown

In which she casually hangs out with Julia Nobis and Georgia May Jagger.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Vanishing Elephant

This is where it's at — everyday fashions!


Win Tickets to adidas Originals' 'Colliderscope' Party in Melbourne This Weekend

We've got five double passes to giveaway — Bamboo Musik, Swick and Andras Fox are DJing!


MBFWA 2013 Model One-On-One: Ash Walker @ Priscilla's

It's a long way from South Carolina.


MBFWA 2013 Model One-On-One: Jacob Hankin @ IMG

Jacob, scouted at Future Music Festival, could just be the next big thing.


MBFWA 2013 Photo Diary: Rachel Rutt

Happy snaps from backstage and in-between shows — guest appearances from Alys Hale and Rene Vaile.


MBFWA 2013 Review: Kate Sylvester

A collection inspired by Marilyn Monroe.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Ellery

Oyster #101 cover star Hanne Gaby opens the show.


MBFWA 2013 Review: Ellery

Good at being bad, bad at being good.


MBFWA 2013 Model One-On-One: Gabby @ Chic

A sneaky shoot between shows — why not?


MBFWA 2013 Natalie Joos Street Style Day One

We collage the street style star and ask her about her favourite look of the day.


MBFWA 2013 Model One-On-One: Holly Rose @ Chic

We caught up with the NZ model right after Romance.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Romance Was Born

Wigs, glitter, pom pom eyelashes, ruffled shoes and amazing earrings.


MBFWA 2013 Review: Romance Was Born

Down the rabbit hole.


MBFWA 2013 Street Style Mashups Day One

Digitally remixed fashions.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage: Bec & Bridge

90s girl, simple slips, snakeskin and sequins — spice up your life.


MBFWA 2013 Backstage & Front Row: Christopher Esber

Ruby Jean, Susie Bubble's amazing beanie and some fairly excellent Adidas sneakers.


MBFWA 2013 x Oyster Collaborator: Rachel Rutt

Her favourite way to relax after a long day of walking on the runway involves showers and Mi Goreng.


MBFWA 2013 x Oyster Collaborator: Ollie Henderson

Live vicariously through her throughout Fashion Week.