May 15, 2010 12:00AM

Two Seasons Too Late

2010 made Australian Fashion Week the sixth I've participated in since my first in 2004. I'm not counting my unofficial first- 2002- where mid-high school year I ventured out of the comfort of my parents' Perth home and across our great land just to be told I was too fat and, confusingly, too plain and too weird.

Thanks for the self-esteem boost guys, I also nearly failed school that year. My heart goes out to the little dolls I've seen at show castings ever since. The blisters from your baby-hooker shoes will heal but the ego-wounds won't. I'll give you the name of my therapist, say Tiah sent you. Oh... and I mean foot therapist, she does a great pedi. Don't even bother with the other kind.

Just like that social-climbing bitch at school - yeah, you know the one: insecure and nerdy but desperate to hang out with 'the cool kids' - Australia's fashion industry equivalents aren't above cutting to the bone with the cheapest possible blow in order to assert themselves. As what one would wonder? A part of the international scene? Good luck. Just because you can bitch out on a chick for having tits and an arse as good as Karl Lagerfeld can doesn't mean you can make clothes like him. And even it would seem The Kaiser's coming around to a bit of woman's-woman nowadays, booking the likes of Lara Stone and Claudia Schiffer for Chanel. Miuccia too, sending out Victoria's Secret models for Prada and Marc Jacobs pulling a similar act with Elle MacPherson at Louis Vuitton.

Surprise! And not just at the international collections' casting choices, but at the fact our country is still maintaining its tradition of not 'getting it' until two seasons too late. You'd think in 15 years we would've caught up. Or at least rebelled and begun a rebel faction in the cafeteria. But no no, as a collective we're still chasing along after the popular kids, repeating what they do and what they say (but with delay) in a desperate bid to fit in most of the time. I look forward to 2012 when this year finally sets in and we see at least a C-cup on the runway, or anyone over 21.

Written by Tiah Eckhardt. 

Image courtesy of Sonny Vandevelde

Latest


PFW FW13: Chanel

Welcome to Karl Lagerfeld's world.


Watch: James Franco Slam Australian Classification Board for Banning Gay Film

Try not to get distracted by the fact that he says "sex" about fifty times.


Watch: 'Ballad of the War Machine' by Midnight Juggernauts

Plus they announce Australian tour dates.


Supreme x Vans x New Order

A collaboration to end all collaborations.


PFW FW13: Givenchy

The highlight of the season.


Exclusive: Insight Autumn 2013 Campaign

A surrealist inspired shoot.


Oyster Fashion: 'Astrid' by Bowen Arico & Anna Santangelo

Archive Raf Simons, Comme des Garçons and KTZ.


Exclusive: Something Else AW13 Lookbook

Travel through time and space.


PFW FW13: Kenzo

Mega models and an M.I.A. soundtrack.


Watch: 'Control It' by Shystie ft. Azealia Banks

Because it's never too early for shirtless dudes on leashes.


Watch: G-Star Raw's SS13 Video

With a soundtrack by Sir Dubstep himself (aka Skrillex).


Cara Delevingne x Burberry Body Tender

The tomboy model gets her girl on in Mario Testino's campaign for the new feminine fragrance.


Carine Roitfeld for Net-A-Porter

She covers the latest issue of their digital magazine.


Alexander Wang's Balenciaga Debut

The NY designer looks to the archives for FW13.


Listen: Azealia Banks Cover 'Barely Legal' by The Strokes

Plus she reveals the release date of her album's first single.


Oyster Fashion: 'Lucy In The Sky' by Renee Carey

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes...


Oyster Playlist: Greg Wilson

He tells us his top 15 early 80s tracks.


Watch: Tyler, The Creator Perform New Songs on Jimmy Fallon

'Treehome' featuring The Roots, and 'Domo 23' featuring Taco and Jasper Dolphin.


Exclusive: Ryan Kenny x Teresa Oman x Ruby Heery x Billy Bride

Going out with a bang — the final instalment in Billy Bride's year-long project series.


Oyster Playlist: Grave Babies

The Seattle band shares YouTube videos of GG Allin on 'Jerry Springer' and moms who love metal.


Exclusive: Julia Nobis x Ellery

Sneak peek at the AW13 campaign.


Odd Future SS13 Lookbook

The first drop of the collection has launched online now.


Ryan McGinley x Edun SS13 Campaign

There's an elephant in the room.


Grimes x Saint Laurent

She has designed five limited edition t-shirts — available now!


Sylvester Winter 2013 Lookbook

Empire state of mind.


A$AP Rocky x Mr Porter

Rockin', rollin', swaggin' to the max.


Listen: 'Sacrilege' by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

A first taste of their 'Mosquito' album.


The Journal: Nasty Gal x Gavriel Maynard x Mateja Buila

Our take on the Spring 2013 collection.