Nov 10, 2011 12:00AM

Victoria's Secret Live Blog

Live blog! Now!

Hi! My name's Ariane and I will be your Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2012 Live Blogger. How exciting! I'm going to trawl the best of Twitter, Google News Alerts, YouTube and the rest of the Internet to bring you news on everything even remotely related to the show. I hope you're as excited as Adriana Lima is above.

12:06 EDST USA Today are backstage at the show (held at the NYC Armoury). Everyone is wearing pink silk robes, laughing and giving cute, Victoria's Secret-esque quotes. Chanel Iman adds fuel to the rumours that she's seeing Kanye by "laughing over the singer's magnetism" (USA Today's words). Iman: "Everybody just ran to one side of the room! It was crazy. But Kanye is Kanye, he's doing his own thing". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? When she says "doing" does she mean that kind of doing????

Everyone is wearing pink silk robes, laughing and saying cute things. Chanel Iman adds fuel to the rumours that she's seeing Kanye by "laughing over the singer's magnetism" (USA Today's words). Iman: "Everybody just ran to one side of the room! It was crazy. But Kanye is Kanye, he's doing his own thing". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?? When she says "doing" does she mean that kind of doing????

Alessandra Ambrosio is doing this for the 10th time and is complaining that her wings are too heavy, she even had to do back exercises, or something. She's Brazilian, so maybe she did capoiera! Candice Swanepoel and Miranda Kerr are worried about falling. In fact, Miranda's shoes are, "like, two sizes too big!" This show is a year in preparation, surely they can get their shit together for the new mum in the show?

Don't know whether to take the plunge with your beloved? Miranda's fellow newlywed Lily Aldridge, who cleverly married down by pairing up with Kings of Leon's Caleb Followill, has some advice for you. She says married life is "the best - you're family." Wow!

Up next? I'll dig deep into the Internet to find out all I can about the Angels' diets. Fried food? Ice cream? Nope! Wait and see...

12:21 EDST Excercise tips from the Angels! Miranda got her "killer post-baby body" from "yoga and pilates." She also put weights on her ankles and does leg lifts. What are you doing? Get off the Internet and get to it! Lily Aldridge also has some tips: "You work out all year long for Victoria's Secret, but two, three weeks before I'll just like change the way I work out a little bit." How does she do this? She includes "hundreds of thousands of butt lifts." Right!

12:28 EDST OK, just found a photo of Miranda Kerr next to the $2.5 million Fantasy Bra. Here it is!

Seriously, what happens to that thing after she's done with it? Do they smash it up for parts? Imagine what you could buy for $2.5 million. Personally, I would buy ten Lamborghini Gallardos.

12:35 AEDST Popsugar has a bunch of backstage photos from the show:

Erin looks a little like she's being tortured, while Lily Donaldson has to do her own make-up. Someone call the unions!

Put this one up because I finally realised that Lily Aldridge and Lily Donaldson are TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE!

12:48pm AEDT Did I just find the Holy Grail of the Victoria's Secret show? A picture of Miranda Kerr in the Fantasy Bra holding a puppy!

How does this even happen? Wouldn't the diamonds catch on the fur?

1:02 pm AEDT Let's have a look at some more of the magical soundbites the spout from the mouths of VS babes:

"It was magical. Felt like a million dollars. Or $2.5 million!" (Miranda Kerr on the Fantasy Bra to Us Weekly)

"I'll probably take my daughter to Serendipity and just have a few desserts." (Alessandra Ambrosio on how she will splurge after the show.)

"I'm excited to take a couple days off of working out." (Candice Swanepoel gets deep and meaningful.)

"It's milking time. I'm still breast feeding. I'm pumping, and it's going well." (Kerr again, to the NY Times. Apparently breastfeeding is said to burn around 500 calories per day which can equate to an hour running on the treadmill.)

1:09 pm AEDT I did promise an update on the food habit of the VS girls, so here you go. By now you may have heard about Adriana Lima's liquid diet, as told to the UK Telegraph:

Lima drinks a gallon of water a day. For nine days before the show, she will drink only protein shakes, "no solids". The concoctions include powdered egg. Two days before the show, she will abstain from the daily gallon of water, and "just drink normally". Then, 12 hours before the show, she will stop drinking entirely. "No liquids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to eight pounds just from that," she says.

Lily Aldridge (brown hair) ALMOST ATE A CARB! "I had scrambled eggs and one piece of turkey bacon. On the plane here, I had a bagel with cream cheese. I thought about having one this morning, then I thought I should wait until tomorrow," she told E! Online. Thank God she had the strength of will to hold off!!!!! Kanye's mate Chanel Iman, however, told Modelinia that she is "always the opposite of everything. I drink a lot of protein shakes and do a lot of weight lifting. [The day before] I have a big potluck at my house. All my friends bring over food and we barbecue and party it up!"

1:19pm AEDT This is all getting a bit depressing, so I've decided to take a break from all the diet and workout stuff by creating a list of my Top 10 Victoria's Secret Angels Ever. The list is entirely made up of de-winged Angels, as the current ones are boring:

1) Laetitia Casta - putting the 'tit' back in Laetitia.

2) Angie Everhart and 3) Famke Janssen. Angie obviously for her hair, but Famke because she played a Bond villian who crushed people between her thighs mid-coitus in GoldenEye.

4) Pania Rose and 5) Heidi Klum. Pania is Australian, has amazing freckles and looks incredible in a swimsuit. Heidi might just be the nicest person in the world.

6) Naomi Campbell and 7) Linda Evangelista. Together. Forever.

8) Stephanie Seymour. Seriously, Stephanie Seymour should be the patron saint of Victoria's Secret. She even looks amazing in a bikini now.

9) Lara Stone. I'm not sure that you could design a more perfect body if you tried.

10) Nicki Minaj. Because would you like to see them try to contain this:

3:43pm AEDT Finally! Pictures!

4:20 pm OK, now for some actual commentary in point form, because this live blogging thing is exhausting:

- Adriana Lima is great.

- Chanel Iman is way too young for this show.

- How ugly are the clothes? I mean, it's never great, but the models look like my childhood dress-up trunk threw up on them. WHAT is Miranda Kerr wearing in that first image with the stripes?

- Anja Rubik needs to hit In-N-Out and eat everything on the menu animal style.

- What is it about Adam Levine that makes him so gross? I can't put my finger on it.

- Kanye West is possibly the un-coolest looking person I've ever seen.